Inside a house a blonde woman in a sequin bikini (Mila) with a bad accent looks
out the window. It thunders outside frightening her. She sits down and
starts to lay cards on a table, and says she sees two dark strangers
and much evil. A mist slips in the room from outside as two men walk in
from outdoors. One has a gun and mentions it is a lousy night for a holdup.
They ask who the woman is. She says she is Madame Duda the fortune teller, they introduce
themselves as the Gecko brothers. The men insist on money, but she says
she knows nothing about money. One brother pulls his gun out. Switch to
the vampire's lair Egor goes to the coffin and the vampire hands him a
suitcase, which he takes away. At the Madame's house one brothers says she
is telling the truth, he gave the money to a lawyer, but doesn't know where
he is now. He insists the Madame tell him where the lawyer is. The other
brother insists they use the cards to play strip poker, but after pulling
one card, he declares himself the winner, and the Madame curses them.
The first brother tells her he wants to know where Dracowitz is, and
the Madame is startled by the name. She insists that Dracowitz is a
''wampire'' then jumps into the first brother's arms. The three of
them strip to cheap music and the sex begins.
Elsewhere two blonde ladies, Buffy and her friend (Sahara Sands), walk into the office of a travel agency. They ask the man working there (Jack Stephen) is the ever worked in a porno movie. He answers as a helicopter goes by and he jokes about the noise. He introduces himself as Myron. Myron was reading a book about an L.A. divorce attorney who becomes a vampire, the ladies wonder what the difference is. As Myron talks the ladies start to make out on the couch. Myron notices no one is paying attention to him and he leaves. The two women have sex.
Back in Transylvania Egor reports to Dracowitz about his investments, but Dracowitz is angered by his investing in adult CD-ROMs instead of long term CDs. Switch to the Gecko brothers, sitting and talking about how they shouldn't have killed the gypsy woman. One brother discovers a business card and the other calls the number on it, which rings a phone at the coffin. They demand their share of the money. Back at the travel agency the two women try to get tickets to Pennsylvania, but the tickets say Transylvania. Myron says it will be fixed at the airport. The women leave and Myron calls Juarez to say she is on her way. Somewhere in Transylvania two vampire women (Randi Storm is the blonde and Randi Rage is the brunette) dressed in sexy lingerie come inside out of the fog, reporting to Dracowitz that they killed the Gecko brothers. Then Dracowitz and the two lady vampires have sex.
In another room Buffy walks in to find a coffin,
then is startled by a man named Juarez who informs Buffy that
this is about vampires. They are interrupted by a lady vampire, and Juarez
says first he has sex with them, then he buries them (see Goof #1). Juarez and the female vampire have sex (see Goof #2). He then slays the vampire and dumps the body in
Buffy, who was watching from the next room walks back in. Juarez says tonight
it's her turn. Later that night Buffy walks in on Dracowitz and the two
have sex. After they are done she slays him off camera, then Juarez walks
in and says that she did well. She says she had a secret weapon, and throws
him a pair of her panties. He smells them and she says it's garlic, worked
like a charm.
Special thanks to The
Complete Buffy Episode Guide for inspiration and technical help, as well
as Buffy episode links and all the readers of the Watcher's Diary for their
feedback in making this page what it is.